Let's+Get+This+Boat+A'movin'

Miraculous! Now I will teach you ho tow make a WORKING RAFT out of the junk in your garage! You will need a 9x11 square foot tarp, 32 feet of plastic piping (along with four 3-way elbow joints), a power drill (with about thirty medium-sized screws), four large tires, and a 6x8' foot board that is about one-and-a-half inches thick. First, you have to take four seperate, one foot pieces of pipe and drill them into each corner of the board. Then put an elbow onto each one and fit the rest of the pipe between them. After that, lay it on the center of the tarp, so that there is about a-foot-and-a-half of tarp showing on each side. Next, drill the tarp on all around the edges so it stays. Finally, filp it upside-down and drill a tire into each corner.

WARNING: Before you ride your raft, try floating it in a small pond. That way, you can check for leaks without drowning in the Pacific Ocean.